Why I Hate Twilight

(Note: Spoiler Warnings)

Okay, so let me start things off by saying this: I have read these books. A lot of people who are much better writers than me have given Twilight a lot of fire recently. They are totally in the right, as these sodden masses of pure filth barely qualify as literature in my opinion, but in order to properly bash a book you should read it first. So I did.

These books cover the antics of a teenage girl named Isabella Swan who meets a family of vampires and eventually marries one named Edward Cullen. Now, I could go on for ages about why these books as a series irritate me, but for length issues I will concentrate on the first.

Why I Hate The Book In Itself:
Twilight is not a vampire novel. It is a romance novel. After reading Twilight, I literally felt sick. I had heard that it was a vampire story, and being a major vampire novel fan myself, I guess I was expecting something a bit more. So let me start with this- Twilight vampires are not vampires. The vampires in this book prey on animals instead of humans. They wear designer clothes. They can go in to the sunlight, but avoid it as it makes them glitter. They have souls.

Doesn't that just seem wrong? What happened to the brilliance of vampire novelists such as Anne Rice? One of the defining characteristics of vampires is that they shouldn't be able to go out in the daytime. Vampires are monsters, and it should always be so. They feed on humans, and kill them remorselessly. Sometimes they love, and sometimes they become obsessed with finding a world of pure tragic beauty, but in the end they are monsters, meant to to prey on humans.

Another thing that really bothers me is how the author tries in inject her religious values in to the novels. Bella's vampire boyfriend won't bite her or have sex with her until she marries him. And marry him she does- at barely nineteen. She also chooses to stay with her boyfriend instead of going to college and getting an education. Later, she becomes pregnant with some weird half-vampire spawn and insists on keeping the baby, even though it nearly kills her. Now, these values are all fine and dandy, but it makes me concerned that the fans might be picking up on ideals they might not have had before.

Aside from these obvious flaws, the Twilight books are just badly written. There is absolutely nothing special about the novels as literature- the only reason why they are popular is because of their fans.



Why I Hate Twilight Fans
Twilight fans are among the most frightening and disturbing groups of people out there. Most Twilight fans are girls between the ages of 13 and 16, who are probably the type that need books that make them feel good about themselves. Girls at that age will literally obsess over anything stupid. It just happens. They go out to Hot Topic and spend twenty bucks on a shirt with Edward Cullen's face on it and hope other people will see just how cool they are.

Now, I don't have a problem with people who just read the books and get over them like regular people. In my case, I wouldn't have bothered if I hadn't been trapped in the house anyway after I got my wisdom teeth out. I'm just strangely disturbed that all of these girls choose to obsess over a mediocre piece of literature.

Want more info on Twilight fans? Be afraid. Be very afraid.

Why I Hate The Twilight Franchise System:
The core fact about Twilight that really, really pisses me off is how corporate the entire thing is. The books are money-making machines, devoid of all palpable content. They exist only so teenage girls will buy them. Over and over we see the corporate machine grinding out prepackaged television stars and designer brands- all marketed so that kids will want their parents to buy them things they don't need. Whatever it is- Twilight, The Jonas Brothers, Hannah Montana, or Bratz dolls, its disgusting. This generation is being force-fed marketable commodities instead of actual talent. In past generations, things were different. As much as I complain about the '80s, there was at least some original culture that came out of it. What does generation Y have- pop punk?

When it all comes down to it, I miss original, well-written literature. Twilight works to slander the beautiful genera that is vampire novels, and its just painful to watch.

Prop 8: The Battle Continues

So after November 1st, a lot of Californians were wondering the same thing: Is a 2% majority really enough to make a constitutional amendment? By California law, a simple majority may vote to make small changes to the constitution. But for a larger change, it needs to be approved by two thirds of the house. Since Prop 8 amends the constitution to say that marriage is only recognized between one man and one woman, some are saying that Prop 8 is a major change to the constitution.

On November 19th, the Supreme Court agreed to review the challenges made against the passing of Prop 8. Of the 3 challenges that the Court chose to hear, one is that since Prop 8 is much more significant than a minor amendment, it needs to be approved by 2/3 of the the house.

More details can be found here.

Personally, I'm glad that the court agreed to oversee this. A lot of people are outraged that Prop 8 only pleases 2% more people than it hurts. Another major issue is what to do with current gay couples who married while it was legal. To those couples, I can only hope that the state won't take their marriage away. No matter what your beliefs, you would have to have a heart of stone to not admit that that is cruel.

So, the fight isn't over yet.

A Very Modest Proposal

California voted on Tuesday, and it was decided that marriage should be restored to its "traditional" state- one man, one woman. We all know now that change is a nasty thing that should always be avoided, no matter how many centuries pass in the meantime. Therefore, America needs to return to its roots. The following propositions should be put in to action immediately, so we can be sure that the current newfangled liberal ideals can be squashed out before any more damage is done.

Proposition M: Further Protecting Marriage
Traditionally, marriage is not only a sacred union between one man and one woman, but also a union between families. Therefore, Proposition M wishes to require by law that all marriages are to be arranged by a child's parents prior birth. As was done with the Greeks and Romans, marriages should consist of a thirty-something man and a barely pubescent and possibly related young woman. The couple should also first meet on their wedding day, which is also when their chastity belts will be removed for the first time in their lives. After the marriage takes place, the woman's family is expected to make a substantial dowry to the family of her new husband, then send the woman off to live with her new in-laws, never to see her family again.

The Bride and Groom: The Way it Should Be.

Proposition V: Protecting Voting
In the past few one or two hundred years or so, the process of voting has become horribly distorted from its original process. These days it seems that just about any old American is allowed to vote, which is something that I'm sure the founding fathers would have had issue with. With the passing of Prop V, we can return America to a place where only the rich, white, male, and privileged upper class is able to vote. And so is the way that it should be.

I don't see any minorities in here- Do you?

Propostion H: Protecting Health
These days, doctors are using so-called techniques like organ transplants and open-heart surgery to "heal" patients. Readers, anyone can see that this is an obvious scam. Humans have been using techniques like bloodletting for thousands of years, and there is no reason to trust to these new, untried methods. It has been documented for thousands of years that in order to cure a human, they must be cut in order to release the bad blood that is making them sick. If this does not work, they are probably a witch and should be burned immediately.

Just how Grandma used to do it.

Proposition P: Protecting Capital Punishment
These days, the court systems have become corrupt with silly qualms like wondering if someone is innocent or not. Traditionally, once accused, the suspect would be hauled off to the stocks for a minor offense, or simply hanged or burned for a major one. These days, even the hardest of criminals are able to spend the rest of their lives in padded cells funded by taxpayer's money. In order to protect America, we need to bring back the days when a witch was a witch, and an eye was taken for an eye. This is, after all, how things were done traditionally.

That'll show him for jaywalking.

To conclude:
So as you can see, readers, a good American constitution is one that doesn't change with the times. The best kind will never, ever, waver- no matter how unfair and outdated it becomes. So my friends, in November 2012, I urge you help return not just America but the world back to its more perfect roots.

America's 44th President: Senator Barack Obama

My readers, I can not tell you how proud I am at this moment to be an American citizen. For four years I have watched Barack Obama's campaign, and for four years I have hoped, just how sixty million other Americans have hoped, and last night our hopes and dreams finally became a reality. Yesterday, the people of the United States of America voted, and last night, Senator Barack Obama became the Presidential Elect. The race was not a close one, as Barack Obama gained 365 electoral votes to John McCain's 174. He also won the popular vote by an outstanding 10 million votes.

Accompanied by a proud Michelle Obama and his two clearly exited children, Senator Obama gave his victory speech before a jubilant Chicagoan crowd that surely numbered in the hundreds of thousands. Yet in contrast of the night's emotional whirlwind, our future President remained calm and composed as he thanked his supporters for their efforts, and promised to win the support of those who did not vote for him. The full video of his speech can be found here.



Yet before Obama's speech, Senator John McCain gave his speech of concession before his distraught supporters in Phoenix, Arizona. Readers, I must say that this it was the finest speech I had ever heard from John McCain. Aware of the bitterness and hate that had been ignited in the McCain-Palin crowds throughout the course of his capaign, McCain seemed a better man tonight. He seemed like the man that he used to be before the corruption in his campaign began. John McCain's campaign was not sportsman-like, but he put in a good word for his next president, Barack Obama. The concession speech of Senator John McCain can be seen here.

Readers, we have come to a new beginning in our lives. For as long as I live, I shall remember the moment when our nation chose hope, change, and unity. We have given a message to rest of the world that America is capable of real change, and I greatly look forward to seeing what this intelligent, articulate young family man will do in the next four, or even eight, years.

Freedom From Religion Means Freedom FROM Religion As Well!

So with the continuation of our political party project, I've decided that my ideal political party would be one that supports the complete separation of church and state in ALL matters. Now obviously, political parties other than Democrat or Republican aren't going to hold up well in this country. They can get the message out, but I don't expect to see them take the White House any time soon. So because of this, I side with the Democrats.

But really, in this day in age, I see no point in having religion continue to have a poignant hold in our government. I believe that people have the right to believe in whatever they want in their free time, but those beliefs should not be extended on unwilling people, and should definitely stay out of our government.

So, for example, I believe that marriage should only be a ceremony of no legal consequence, and for two people to be legally bound they must apply to the State for a civil union. Even if a pastor declares these people joined in the eyes of God, they need acknowledgment from the state for them to be legally joined. This would separate marriage from the church, and give any two people, no matter what gender, racial background, beliefs, or sexual orientation the right to marry. I'm tired of religious fanatics acting like the world will end if there's just a little more love in the world. Freedom of religion goes both ways- don't we have a right to be free FROM religion as well?

To add to this, I don't think that creationism should be taught in schools. If a child have religious parents who would like to educate them of this matter, it can be done inside the home. There is no need to extort these beliefs on children whose parents don't want them to be exposed to religion.

Furthermore, I'm for removing the words "In God We Trust" from the US Currency, and "Under God" from the Pledge of Allegiance. These phrases were both added in the 1950's, and subject people of all religions to Christianity. It is past politically correct to have those offensive statements remain on US currency.

I also think that a woman should have the right to choose what goes on with her body at ALL times. Why should the government be able to control what goes on in a woman's body? Having a baby is an enormous undertaking, and it is morally abhorrent to me to think of that process being forced on anyone. Furthermore, I believe that minor girls should continue to be able to get an abortion without parental consent. Just because someone has religious parents shouldn't mean that they have to squeeze out an unwanted life form in to the world. The planet is already overcrowded, and I believe that every child should be loved, wanted, and planned for.

I don't have a problem with someone being spiritual, but I do have a problem with religion being forced on to people who would rather not be subject to it. Lets evolve, America, and leave this outdated, politically incorrect process behind.